Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Finding Balance

I recently took a break from intactivism due to a family vacation, work deadlines, and home improvement projects. My intactivism efforts included a few blog entries, participation in Twitter discussions, and efforts to improve the Wikipedia circumcision article. I'm not the most prolific or effective #i2 contributor, but I do try to make a difference.

The few months I spent closely following my Twitter feed, making efforts to improve Wikipedia and research have induced tremendous stress, anxiety, and anger. At various times, I found myself compulsively checking my phone to make sure I didn't miss any updates. I felt obligated to respond to mentions as quickly as possible. I felt compelled to respond to every argument used to justify the state of the Circumcision article on Wikipedia. It became difficult to relax and enjoy life "in the moment" due to anxiety caused by this self-induced need to be involved.

I found myself occasionally losing patience, having difficulty concentrating at work, and becoming less happy. One of my character weaknesses is a susceptibility to a greater emotional investment than should be warranted. I allowed my emotions—anger, frustration, helplessness—to affect my quality of life. Although it is my responsibility to overcome my emotions and this problem is mine to solve, it is also noteworthy that there is an emotional harm done to victims of non-consensual genital cutting.

After a break, my wellness returned. My laid-back nature returned. My patience returned. The anxiety and stress melted away.

I am in a better, more mature place now. I need to find a way to be involved without being consumed. I need to find a way to participate without such emotional attachment. I need to find balance. I want to continue to be involved because this issue is extremely important to me. I want to see routine infant circumcision end, but I cannot let the negativity of this evil consume me and damage my quality of life and my relationships.